Marriage God's Way - Part 2

Thursday, July 26, 2007 - Mark McAdow
I wrote last week about some of my thoughts concerning Christian marriage.  Several of you commented about how you appreciated that and added some helpful comments as well.  Thanks!  I was so glad to hear about the pre-marriage class that First Church offers called "Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts."  It is led several times a year by Jerry and Sandy Ball.  The resource they use is written by great Christian authors and marriage counselors Les and Leslie Parrot, along with other pertinent articles and inventories.  We require pre-marriage counseling to perform a wedding here at First Church, so if you're planning a wedding be sure to contact The Balls or the church office for more details.  I cannot express how strongly I feel about pre-marriage counseling.  Reports have shown that the greater the number of pre-marriage counseling sessions the greater the satisfaction in marriage.  Robin and I invested a lot time in pre-marriage counseling -(she just wasn't convinced!) - I knew the great deal I was getting!  We sought so much counsel that our Pastor said during the wedding, "They checked it out to the max!" And we really did.  Next to the decision to give your heart to Jesus - it is the second most important decision many people will ever make.
 
Robin and I have been privileged to lead several marriage retreats over the last few years called "Intimate Life Weekends" where we help couples "re-connect" and offer some tools to help grow their marriages.  I also close most every wedding I do with the following words of advice.  If married, you may want to see how you're doing!
1.  Pray together regularly - "The couple that prays together most often will stay together."
2.  Continue to date one another - Put it on the calendar.  Plan for the babysitter.  Spend time together having fun!
(It doesn't have to cost a lot of money! - Sam's Club even offers "free" hors d'oeuvres!)
3.  Say "I love you" every day and demonstrate that love in practical ways(Doing the dishes, making the bed, mowing the lawn, etc.)
4.  "Never let the sun go down on your anger."  Communicate. Talk through your conflicts.  Fight fair.
5.  Laugh together every day.  Share a joke.  Act silly.  Have fun!
6.  Forgive.  Learn to use these seven words every time you need to.."I was wrong.  Will you forgive me?"
 
I'll be speaking more about forgiveness this Sunday.  Hope to see you there!
 
Blessings!
 
Yours in Christ,
Mark

2 comments (Add your own)

1. Bob amd Jan Helsel wrote:
Sounds interesting. Wish we were going to be here, but duty calls us to the mountains of Colorado, to attend a family reunion. Actually, do you think old dogs really could learn a few new tricks? You get pretty stuck in your own tracks after 52 years.

We are enjoying your ministry so much. We will be praying for and remembering the services as we travel.

July 26, 2007 @ 3:20 PM

2. Jerry Ball wrote:
Thanks Mark it is great to hear that marriage enrichment and enhancement is a passion of you and Robin. Your two marriage blogs summarize very nicely the important factors associated with marriage success.

I just wanted to add a few statistics about marriage to go along with your comments. The national average of divorce rate is between 40% and 50% percent for first marriages, approximately 67% for second and around 74% for third marriages. These numbers are actually quite staggering by themselves, but these rates do not even account for couples that cohabitate together. Their rates of separation are five times greater than non-cohabitating couples.

Although it is not all doom and gloom, there are several factors that can protect our relationship and improve the overall satisfaction we share with one another. The first and definitely the most important factor is prayer. Several studies have reported couples that pray together daily have a divorce rate around 1%. No other factor even comes close to reducing the divorce rate as dramatically. Significant training on marriage skills reduces the rate by 50% and couples that have a marriage mentor during the first year of marriage lower the rate to around 15%.

As Dr. Dobson has so succinctly stated, our relationships should draw from the three Cs: Christ, Commitment, and Communication. I think is so important to remember that two cords will unravel but three can be woven into a tapestry of strength. We need to all make sure that the third cord is Christ.

July 28, 2007 @ 11:36 AM

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